Friday, 28 September 2012

Sweet Friday Afternoon: Half-Arsed Weekly News Round-Up

A Mail reader enjoys the Gay Pride parade earlier this year

Despite unremitting complaints about London’s young people hanging about on the streets, smoking illegal herbal substances, committing petty crime, prematurely reproducing and publicly listening to terrible music which literally does all sound the same on their ipodphones, efforts to provide them with something else to do are being thwarted by people who want to live in a city but don’t want to be surrounded by other members of the public. Plans for a multi-use games area in Ham have been blocked by local whingers like Michael Burgess, who complained that a sports area would “stick out like a sore thumb” if it was built in the proposed location – next to a youth club. He’s a man who knows incongruity when he sees it. And then there are the protesters in Barnsbury, north London who believe children should be at home on the Playstation eating Quavers where they belong, and not out climbing trees and making a nuisance of themselves by providing career women with a constant reminder of the increasingly loud ticking of their body clocks.     

Not in my back yard

An unconvincing transsexual was found guilty this week of manufacturing improvised explosive devices in a mental hospital in Purley. Angie Dawes, formerly Mark Cann, made the devices in an attempt to prove that she would excel as an army bomb disposal expert after narrowly failing the exam and being told by the interviewer that she would never make it as an explosive specialist. Upon their discovery her devices caused the Southleigh Community Hospital to be evacuated and criminal charges were brought against her. Despite this, part of her sentence is to return to the hospital for treatment. Judge Jeremy Gold, who dismissed her previous conviction for manslaughter, when she killed her former partner, as “all in the past”, told her that “The workers at the Southleigh Community Hospital will no doubt welcome you back,” and instructed her not to do it again.  

If you have some time on your hands this weekend, are in the Potters Bar area and are not sure if you are breathing, why not visit the Furzefield Centre, Mutton Lane, and have your mind put at rest?     

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